I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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