I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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