I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
