and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
