So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
