its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
