he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
