YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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