you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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