she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
now i know why i became what i already was.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why is there bacon in the couch?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
