omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Randomize