he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
3 2 1 whiskey
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
