i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
