i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize