its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
