I'm jealous of your bromance
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He? As in you personified your dick?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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