So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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