One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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