Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize