new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
