Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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