sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize