she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
