some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
