how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
