My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
