whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
