man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i now understand why vodka
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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