explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you never un-have a 4some
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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