I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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