Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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