Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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