His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
