we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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