You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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