So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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