so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
