I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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