do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
