Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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