what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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