but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
