I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
