I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
