i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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