I'm gonna have a badass scar
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
