Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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