My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
