thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
