i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am naked and annoyed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
