We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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