Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
