it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
