Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You're like the curious george of whores
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
