you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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