i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Welp...herpes.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
